I suppose I have to write what you’re about to read, if only because I went on Bob Dutko’s radio show on Tuesday and mentioned I was thinking about it. Essentially, he asked me a question about American Christendom and culture, and I answered by mentioning the billboard that’s on southbound US-23 just before the exit for M-59. Jennifer managed to get a picture of it for me yesterday as we were driving to the church to drop something off. It’s sponsored by the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. Dave Thomas, himself an adoptee, founded the fast-food chain Wendy’s. In short, the billboard displays two gay men with three foster children they adopted standing between them. The sign’s tagline reads “Love makes a family.”

Driving past this sign day after day, I’ve had plenty of time to think about it. Its message is crafted to appeal to compassion—and maybe even the normal human being’s seemingly instinctive desire to see children loved and cared for within the confines of a stable household. On the surface, who could possibly object to those things, right? And for the Christian passersby, isn’t that what we want? I mean, since Christians are principally pro-life, don’t we love children and champion adoption?

Yes. Yes. And yes.

However, as with most messages the culture tends to employ, the sign’s meaning often lies beneath the emotional sentiment. Unfortunately, because American Christendom has become more emotionally driven and less anchored to what God actually says in His Word, far too many Christians often absorb these syrupy messages without much discernment. Perhaps some get that it’s wrong, but they don’t know why. That’s because a generation of attractant model churches has trained entire Christian populations to evaluate truth by how something feels rather than by what God actually says about it. The result is that warm slogans like “Love makes a family” sound close enough to Christianity that they pass through a Christian’s defenses unquestioned.

I know it bothers some, but I’m one who believes too many churches today speak of faith almost exclusively in therapeutic terms, rather than the stricter terms given in the Bible. I mentioned that to Bob during the interview. I told him it sure seems like so much of modern American Christianity has quietly traded biblical categories for pop-psychological ones. Instead of talking about sin, we talk about “brokenness.” Instead of repentance, we emphasize “personal growth.” Instead of faithfulness, we encourage people to “live authentically.” I told him that far too many sermons are less about preaching the Law and Gospel inherent to God’s Word and more reframed as a therapeutic journey toward emotional wholeness.

Am I being too toxically masculine when I say that stuff makes me want to puke? Maybe.

Either way, it’s hard to argue that the vernacular shift hasn’t resulted in the authority of Scripture getting replaced by the authority of feelings. The buildings demonstrate it. The worship demonstrates it. The music demonstrates it. The question is no longer “What has God said?” but “How does this make me feel?” And once that becomes the measure of truth, a warm, winsome slogan like ‘Love makes a family’ doesn’t just sound harmless—it sounds biblical. It seems compassionate, affirming, and aligned with the therapeutic version of Christianity that many have absorbed without even realizing it. As a result, the leap from point A to point B isn’t that hard. It becomes easy for our all-affirming feelings to baptize whatever arrangement adults choose to bless.

Unfortunately, my answer to Bob is that we are where we are because this is precisely how many believers have been trained to think. American Christendom’s foolish chickens are coming home to roost.

I wrote some time ago about how, unless more people start stepping up to invalidate lies, this kind of thinking will never fade. Concerning the Church, as well as the billboard, what you’re reading is not only an attempt to analyze the situation, but also an attempt to set the record straight.

Thinking about the billboard, Christians affirm wholeheartedly that love is at the heart of family. For example, Saint Paul urges husbands and wives to love one another (Ephesians 5:25) and for parents to love their children (Titus 2:4). But one thing the Bible doesn’t do is to define familial love as some sort of free-floating feeling that justifies any arrangement we place under its banner. In the Bible, love is ordered, not autonomous. It flows from God into the structures God Himself designed. It is entirely shaped by His will, not by our preferences—and certainly not by the spirit of the age (2 Corinthians 4:4; Ephesians 2:2).

The billboard insists that love—defined sentimentally and subjectively—can validate any configuration of adults and children. But do the marketers who thought the sign was a good idea understand just how dangerous that message is? Christian or not, everything requires boundaries. Once boundaries are dismissed, then confusion reigns. In this instance, when God’s created order is dismissed, society has no consistent way to say “no” to anything that comes dressed in the language of love. Even now, sickos from every fringe subculture are demanding legitimacy. They’re all trying to rebrand themselves under the banner of love, arguing that their desires should be considered just another form of love’s genuine expression. Pedophiles, furries, you name it. And their arguments all begin and end with the premise that so long as something feels authentic or loving, it must be accepted without question.

From the beginning, God’s Word roots the concept of family not in emotional attachment, but in the created order. “Male and female He created them. … Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 1:27; 2:24). Indeed, marriage is the union of one man and one woman—a complementary, covenantal bond meant to be lifelong. From within that union, children are conceived and raised. Children aren’t always a possibility. Nevertheless, that was the plan. This structure is not arbitrary. It is God’s good design for human flourishing.

Of course, I get called a bigot all the time for speaking this way. And yet, even as the slurs are hurled, I know my Christian conviction is not born from prejudice. I’m bound to God. My conscience stands in fidelity to the Creator. I know, just as God knows, that a same-sex pairing, no matter how sincere the affection, falls outside that design. And when children are placed within such an arrangement, the structure of parenthood that God ordained is altered in a fundamental way.

As I noted rhetorically before, Christians support adoption. In fact, we are its greatest champions. That’s because we understand it better than anyone else. God’s Word uses the metaphor of adoption to describe our salvation. We are adopted as sons and daughters of God through Christ (Romans 8:15). How could we not want the same for parentless children in a purely human sense? But again, adoption, rightly understood, does not redefine the nature of family. Instead, it returns for many what sin snatched away. Adoption restores the family structure of father, mother, and children.

The billboard implies that children simply need “love,” no matter the adult configuration providing it. But this just isn’t true. Year after year, and study after study, research continues to affirm God’s design. No, mothers and fathers are not interchangeable. Children consistently do far better in virtually every measurable category—academic success, emotional stability, and behavior. You name the category. When children are raised by their married biological mother and father, they’re more likely to succeed in almost every facet of human life. But when a father or mother is absent, children often lose the distinct strengths that a missing parent normally provides. Fatherless homes, for example, are consistently associated with higher rates of behavioral problems, weakened impulse control, and greater struggles with confidence and identity. That’s because fathers typically play an important stabilizing role in these areas of development.

In the same way, children raised without a mother struggle with emotional regulation and speech development. Make whatever jokes you want about talkative wives. The fact remains that communication is a well-documented maternal strength. Children learn the skill best from their mom.

The reality in all of this is that two men cannot replace the unique contributions of a mother, and two women cannot replace the unique contributions of a father. No amount of affection can fully substitute for the God-designed complementarity that children naturally receive when both a mother and a father are present in the home.

I know plenty of discerning Christians will see the billboard and feel pulled in two different directions. They’ll sense compassion for vulnerable children, while at the same time experiencing concern for the redefinition of family. And that’s precisely what this billboard intends to do. Its purpose is to manipulate. It’s merely a softened version of the manipulative (and quite terrifying) question Chloe Cole told me doctors asked her parents during her transition, which was, “Would you rather have a living son or a dead daughter?” Culture insists that affirming the insanity is the only compassionate stance.

But God’s Word tells a different story. Real love points to harmful structures. Real love doesn’t nudge toward sentiment and away from truth, but instead builds on that truth, both in the immediate moments and for the long-term ones. Real love can affirm the dignity of every person, without accepting structures that fall beyond the borders of God’s perfect design.

Yes, taken at face value, the billboard urges people to support adoption. That’s a worthy goal. But the deeper message is unmistakable—that the traditional understanding of family is outdated, that father/mother-parenting is unnecessary, that family is simply any configuration that feels love, and that disagreeing with this redefinition is equivalent to a lack of compassion, maybe even bigotry.

Well, whatever. The culture does not have the authority to redefine what God created. Slogans, no matter how warm, cannot reshape biblical truth. However, in a societal sense, unless people push back and invalidate the lie, the billboard’s agenda will continue to make headway toward becoming the standard. It won’t actually be the standard. It’ll be a counterfeit. And yet, it will be accepted as the real thing.

I say, speak up. Write or call the Dave Thomas Foundation. Let them know your concern. Even better, let’s get someone with some cash to help us replace the billboard with a better message—something like “Love doesn’t make a family—God does.” Imagine the impact of a statement like that standing in the very place where confusion previously claimed authority.